


Getting there

by Benadrylcucumberpatch



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin
Genre: Abuse, Alcoholism, Body Dysphoria, Child Abuse, Dysphoria, Eren is actually smart for once what a shocker, Eren is transgender, FTM, Grisha does not get father of the year, Im sorry if this is bad, Levi is gay as heck, M/M, Minor Self Harm, WRITING IS HARD AND SO IS LEVI, eren's adorable, i just want Eren to be happy, trans!eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-19 14:50:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9446168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benadrylcucumberpatch/pseuds/Benadrylcucumberpatch
Summary: Eren has learned that when people don't understand something, they become judgmental and cruel. Wasn't that just how the world worked, wasn't it human nature to be like this? Or maybe…just Eren's world?





	1. Explanations

My name is Eren Jaeger.

I am fifteen years old.

I go to Trost High.

I am transgender.

These were things I thought to myself often just to pass time. For example, right now, in English class, where there is absolutely nothing to do except think to myself.

All I usually think about is facts, like my name, age, ya know, simple things.

Despite how much I hate it here, I like it more than my home. My home isn't really what you would call…nice.

I mean, the house I live in is expensive and big due to the fact that my father is a "world class doctor," but it's the people in it that makes it not so nice.

I have a sister, Mikasa. My family adopted her when we were nine and we were pretty close then, but so many things happened, like the fact that I'm actually a boy and my mother died and our relationship just isn't as good as it was.

and then there's my dad. Grisha Jaeger, famous doctor, has saved thousands of people, but isn't the nicest person. He's judgmental and rude and violent, especially when intoxicated.

There are quite a few reasons to hit me apparently. I've learned that from my father and I've also learned that it doesn't only apply to him.

There's the number one reason

I'm gay

and transgender

most people don't understand this.

and then there's the fact of my grades and if he's already pissed off about something someone else did and the list goes on and on except those only pertain to him, not everyone.

I only have a few friends here at this god forsaken school, but they're good friends.

There's Armin, my best friend whom is sitting next to me as of right now, surprisingly looking just as bored as I am. 

I'm shocked.

He usually loves English, but I guess this lesson is too boring, even for him.

Anyway there's Connie, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Marco, and Jean (if I can actually call him my friend??). Oh and there's Mikasa too, but since she's my sister does she really count as a friend? I don't know, anyway they're all good and accepting friends and I love them all, they're great.

My thoughts were cut short by the bell and Armin and I quickly gathered our things, ready to sprint as fast as we could away from this classroom and never look back and be so horribly disappointed when we had to come back the next day. 

"Eren, Eren?" Armin said, his eyes widening as we walked.

"What?" I asked, the blonde looking a bit frazzled.

"Eren?"

"I said what." Armin looked paler than usual, like he just realized that while we were in class an atomic bomb dropped on the rest of the school and everyone was dead.

I wish.

"I don't remember anything about the lesson today." He said, completely stopping and staring up at me as I just bursted out laughing.

"Don't laugh at me, this is serious!" He yelled, hitting me on the back of the head with his composition notebook.

"Is-is that why you're so upset?" I asked between wheezes as I hunched over, "I can't breathe oh my god."

"Eren, this isn't funny!" He hit me once more with his notebook and I finally stood up straight.

"It's kinda funny…" I mumbled as Armin began walking in front of me, turning around to threaten to hit me again with that damn notebook.

When we got to our lockers, ours were next to each other's thankfully, Armin said, "I don't think you would've noticed since you were bent over like you were having an asthma attack,"

I almost snorted.

"but that guy, the captain of the football team and the quarterback. Well not really the captain, but mostly just the quarterback. Ya know, the short, scary one. What's his name?"

I racked my brain for a second as I put my books away into my locker, "Uh…Levi, I think?"

"Yeah, that one. He was staring at you."

I finally looked at Armin, a little surprised.

"Did you piss him off or something?" He asked.

"Nope." I replied, popping the 'P', "Never touched him, never talked to him. Except today, Mrs. Brzenska moved us in music and now we're partners, but I don't know why he'd be mad about that."

Armin laughed a little, "Should he consider himself privileged to sit next to you?"

My face dropped completely and I locked my eyes with Armin's as I deadpanned, "Yes."

Armin let out a slight sigh as he started to pack up just as I had been, saying, "You are a work of art."

As I continued to pack up I said, "No, I'm une poubelle."

"Don't call yourself a garbage can."

"Okay," I said, putting on my backpack, "I'm la poubelle."

"Eren." Armin also put on his backpack.

"What? You had a point, I shouldn't call myself a garbage can. That's why I'm  _the_ garbage can."

I think I'm funny, I probably should've mentioned this earlier.

Armin just sighed and said, "Alright let's go, crétin."

"I don't know what that means, but I'm offended."

We ended up walking home together and Armin came over to my house for a little while since it was one of those sweet, sweet times when my dad wasn't home and plus it was a Friday.

Armin disliked my father just as much as I did and him and his grandfather were always very kind and understanding of the situation I was in with my old man, they always allowed to me come over whenever I needed and they just did a lot for me in general. I am very grateful for them.

Armin and I messed around until about seven, after we'd had dinner with Mikasa,  and he said his grandfather would be expecting him to be home soon, so we said goodbye and he left, which meant Mikasa and I were alone.

I was sprawled out on the couch when Mikasa came over to me and said, "You wanna watch a movie with me?"

"Sure, you can pick." I replied, not even attempting to move.

"Are you gonna fall asleep?" She asked, eyeing me as she turned on the television, opening Netflix and I sat up some so she'd have room on the couch.

"There are no guarantees, you've never presented me with a contract."

She groaned as she sat down and was quiet for a moment which made me think she was mad, but after a second she said, "If I make a contract will you actually not fall asleep."

"That is how contracts work, right?"

"I'll make sure to make one next time." She said as she clicked on a movie and the next thing I knew, Morgan Freeman's voice was blaring through the speakers, "According to all known laws of aviation-"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME." I looked at her and she started laughing as she turned the volume down some so we could actually hear each other.

"The Bee Movie? Really? It's so…" I said, starting to laugh along with her a little.

"It's what, Eren?" She asked between her laughs.

"It's so…meme-y."

Apparently hearing me say 'meme-y' just set her over the edge and we weren't even watching the movie, we were laughing almost hysterically for a good ten minutes.

We then realized what great work of genius was playing in front of us and calmed ourselves down enough to actually watch the whole movie, which I  successfully stayed awake through.

When it was over we just marathoned Highschool musical until neither of us could keep our eyes open and we both dragged ourselves to our rooms. 

I just changed my clothes and went to sleep. 

I knew Mikasa liked to exercise at night sometimes and I probably should too, but getting my binder off is enough exercise for me thank you.

I was happy under the covers in my shorts and tank top. I didn't have my binder on which I usually didn't like, but I had on a sports bra and that worked well enough. 

My clothes were just kind of spread around the room and a drawer was left open from where I grabbed my gray athletic shorts and tank top from, but that didn't really matter unless I needed to get up sometime during the night and I almost kill myself because I feel something touch my foot or if I just entirely ram my leg into it, but that shouldn't happen since I am very content within my bed and I would enjoy not moving for the next seventy two years.

I had no clue what time it was, but I knew it must've been pretty late (I wouldn't dare turn on my phone, I didn't want to be blinded) because I was tired as hell and fell asleep extremely fast which was kind of unusual for me, unless it's when I'm watching a movie with Mikasa.

I love Mikasa, but her choice in movies is very boring. She likes romantic things and the music in them is nice, but I'd rather watch some stupid Japanese monster movie than listen to some girl say "You're the only one for me and that's how it's always been!" one more time.


	2. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's so cute and awkward and gay

I awoke the next day to the unfortunate sound of Mikasa saying my name.

Not that it was unfortunate because she was saying it in a bad way, but it was unfortunate for me because I wanted to continue sleeping.

"Eren, Eren." She continued as she now began to shake me since I refused to open my eyes.

I cracked one eye open and glared at her the best I could while my face was still buried in my pillow. "What?"

"Levi's gonna be here in a few minutes and I want you to be up and presentable when he gets here."

I turned my head to the side and opened both my eyes to actually looked at her as she sat on the edge of my bed.

"Levi?"

Mikasa's eyes widened in shock, "Levi? Levi Ackerman? Captain of the football team Levi Ackerman?"

"Quarterback…" I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing. Why is he coming here? I don't think I was informed of this."

"He's going to help me study." She said, looking proud of herself.

I almost scoffed out loud.

"If you wanted someone to help you study don't you think you could've gotten someone better than Levi?"

"Well, I mean…Eren, are you stupid?"

okay I wasn't expecting that.

"Excuse me?" I asked, she could obviously tell I was a bit offended.

"Isn't it obvious to you that he isn't coming over here to help me study? He's- I mean we're gonna- ya know…" She looked away as she tried to explain and I rolled my eyes so hard I could nearly see my brain.

"So he's coming over here because you wanna ride his disco stick, but does he know that?"

Mikasa stared at me for a second before saying, "Of course he does. Who actually studies?"

"That's funny…" I said, not realizing I had actually spoken aloud since I was just thinking to myself.

"What's funny?" Asked Mikasa, looking down at me curiously.

"Oh uh…it's just…I heard Levi was gay." I had kind of mumbled it and I also had turned my face back into my pillow so Mikasa didn't really hear me.

"What?"

"I'm almost 90% sure Levi is gay." I said again, my voice still being muffled by the pillow.

"What?"

This was getting aggravating.

"I SAID I THINK LEVI LIKES DICK."

I yelled as I turned my face again so she could have that sentence embedded into her eardrums.

Mikasa looked a little taken aback and she stood up, "Levi is not gay. There's just, there is no possible way. Sorry Eren, but that's just not true." She seemed to try to be convincing herself more than she was convincing me and I just laughed quietly.

"But seriously, get up. He'll be here soon." She said before walking out of my room.

I groaned and rolled over.

I really didn't want to talk to Levi or see Levi especially at my own house.

I mean I don't even really know him. I've maybe talked to him twice, but only because he asked to borrow some paper in music or vice versa.

I don't want to walk in on him fucking my sister in the kitchen or some shit because that would be really weird and awkward and I just don't need that.

I'm actually hoping he's gay.

For two reasons really. One, so that he doesn't fuck my sister and two, because he is actually pretty hot, I'm not blind.

But if he is gay I probably wouldn't have a chance with him anyway because of my…situation.

My body always puts me at a disadvantage with gay guys because well, they're expecting a dick and that unfortunately is not what they're getting.

I wish it was, but it's not.

Plus I've never even had a boyfriend, hell I'm a fucking virgin and dating Levi Ackerman probably wouldn't be the best place to start.

Despite my not wanting to move, I knew Mikasa would just come in my room again and bother me, so I got up and pulled on my Trost High sweatshirt before brushing my hair and teeth and going downstairs because I honestly couldn't be bothered to put on my binder, that shit was hard to get on and a sweatshirt hid my chest well enough.

Just as I walked into the kitchen, there was a knock at the door.

"MIKASA YOUR FUCK- I MEAN STUDY PARTNER IS HERE."

Mikasa slapped me on the back on the head as she quickly walked by me to get to the door and I snickered as I turned on the coffee machine.

When the glorious machine turned on so did the little digital clock and I could finally see the time.

Nine thirty on the dot.

Mikasa actually woke me up at nine o'clock on a Saturday.

She's gonna pay for this.

I heard the door open and Mikasa and Levi greeted each other, making small talk as the door closed and they began walking towards the kitchen where I was, again, unfortunately.

It was actually a little funny when I turned around since I had never really noticed how short Levi was. I don't stare at him all day so I never thought about it until now, when Mikasa and I were next to him with us being about 5'7 and him…much, much shorter than that.

I said a small and short (just like him) hello to Levi and before I could turn around again to get back to making coffee Mikasa suddenly gasped and looked surprised, saying, "I didn't know you were in here! Maybe we should go study in my room instead Levi?"

I just sighed and turned back around, mumbling, "Lyin' is a fuckin' sin…"

I was a little surprised when I heard something like a low chuckle, that obviously wasn't Mikasa.

I wasn't used to people hearing me when I mumbled so this was new.

Or hearing Levi make anything other than a 'tch' noise as a reaction to something.

It was actually, it was kinda cute.

"No, we can stay in here. I'm sure Eren won't mind, right?" Levi asked, looking at me.

"Go ahead." I replied, Levi sitting down at the kitchen table.

The look on Mikasa's face was priceless.

Absolutely priceless.

She sat down next to the other male and looked almost morbid.

No sinful acts today, not in my house or on my watch.

"Either of you want coffee?" I asked turning my attention back towards the coffee machine.

"No,  _Eren_ , we don't." Mikasa said and personally I found her tone to be a little rude. I was asking if you wanted me to make you coffee not if you would give me your first born child.

Levi seemed to pick up on this, surprisingly, and he stared at Mikasa for a good few seconds before saying, "Actually, a cup of coffee would be really nice, thanks. Your brother tries to be fucking nice and you treat him like that…?" 

I was even more surprised. That was a lot nicer than I thought he'd say and even though he mumbled that last part I still thought it was sweet.

I smiled at him a little over my shoulder before making the two cups of coffee.

Mikasa just looked even more appalled than she already was. 

While I made the coffee, Mikasa and Levi had begun some of her biology homework that she needed help on. Honestly I was still surprised that Levi even  _considered_ helping Mikasa since he obviously doesn't want to fuck. I mean he's a junior and we're both freshmen, that just doesn't usually happen unless the older one gets something out of it too, like sex, but that just isn't the case here, so what is?

I walked over to the table, which was only a few feet away, and handed Levi his cup. 

"I don't know how you like it, so if you want creamer or anything that's all in the fridge."

"Black is fine." He replied.

that's disgusting.

I noticed that Levi seemed to be reviewing the page Mikasa needed to do for biology and he started talking about it again.

"The nucleus is in the center of the cell, it's like the brain I guess. And then there's a large central vacuole which-"

"No," I said, interrupting him. He seemed a little surprised that I was still there, I guess he wasn't observant enough to notice that I was reading the worksheet over his shoulder. Mikasa had already done most of the questions, but boy was she going to get a bad grade on this.

"This worksheet is referring to the cell of an animal, therefore it doesn't have a central vacuole to hold water, those are only in plants. The thing closet to a central vacuole in an animal cell are the lysosomes so that would be the answer."

Mikasa and Levi both just stared at me, they both looked really surprised despite the fact that Levi's facial expressions never really change. 

"Also your answers for one, two, four, six, seven, ten, eleven, and twelve through twenty are all wrong." I said as I began walking away and into the living room where I turned on Netflix and sat at a far corner of the couch as and episode of House M.D. began to play.

After I left the kitchen, Mikasa and Levi were silent for a solid minute.

Were they not aware that I'm in AP Biology?

Well actually all of my classes are AP classes, my dad insists on it.

AP is just another way of saying that you're basically in college.

I hate them.

I watched House for a while, I didn't even know how long it had been until I heard Levi say that he had to leave.

However, I didn't expect him to walk into the living room where I was.

Actually I didn't notice him at first until he cleared his threat and I looked up.

"Thank you for the coffee." He said.

"Oh, you're welcome, it wasn't an issue." I replied.

I expected him to walk away, but he didn't.

"Is there…something else?" I asked, looking up at him a little confusedly.

"I…want to get to know you. You uh…"

This is the first time I had ever seen Levi Ackerman stumble over his words.

It was actually really adorable, the way his raven hair covered his face a little and the way he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Can I take you out sometime or something?" He finally asked and he raised his eyes to mine.

The confidence in those gray hues nearly sent a chill down my spine and I almost forgot what he had asked me, I was just staring at him like an idiot. 

But I remembered after a few seconds and nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Great, um...how's tomorrow night? We could get dinner if you want." 

I thought about it for a second before nodding again, "I'd like that."

He nodded also, he seemed to be affirming the situation. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"See you tomorrow."

and with that he walked out of the room.

What in the name of god did I just agree to?

Did he actually just ask me out?

And I said yES? I BARELY KNOW HIM.

Well I guess coming over here did have something in it for Levi.

Me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making Eren smart whether you like it or not

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this is bad I'm trying ahah


End file.
